Cap’n Ken’s Homespun Wisdom

So in hopes of getting their merger to go through, Sirius and XM are now pitching the idea of ala carte packaging of channels as a subscription option. As stupid as the idea of buying TV channels ala carte (ads and carry fees still pay the bills on most of cable, kids, so ESPN would cost you a whole heck of a lot more than Outdoor Life Network if all channels were optional), it makes perfect sense in commercial-free music.

Off the top of my head, I can rattle off maybe 20 channels (music and not music) on Sirius that I”m passionate about. I”m real passionate about a few (Underground Garage, Outlaw Country), but probably 60% of the music channels hold zero interest for me. Give me ESPN radio, etc. plus my favorite channels, and I can come up with 50 that”ll do me just right.

Of course, low take rates for those non-mainstream stations I like could spell doom for them, but I still hold my opinion that somebody looking for crap Top 40 or mainstream country ain”t the one looking to pay a monthly fee for music.

OK, so now the deal is done for merging my fabulous Sirius Satellite Radio with the crappy XM Radio. There are lots of issues to be resolved: regulatory, technical and operational. But the biggest issue in my mind is programming. I”ve said many times that XM music programming sucks. Because it does. I know this even better now after having it free in my new car for three months.

To put it most simply, XM is largely music you would hear on crappy regular radio, just without the commercials (most of the time). Sirius programming is much more interesting and on the fringes of genres the service explores. XM is more mainstream, and that”s what concerns me. The easy choice is to dump the Sirius niches and go for the dumb masses.

And with both companies relying on distribution through new car sales, the consumer hook isn”t primarily the music choices, it”s no commercials and that fact that your new car came with XM or Sirius installed.

So I”m not hopeful. But in the spirit of positive thinking, I”d like to offer my suggestions for what make sure to keep in a Sirius / XM combined lineup:

Sirius:
BBC Radio 1
Elvis Radio
First Wave
Hair Nation

Underground Garage
The Who Channel
Sirius Disorder
BackSpin
Outlaw Country

XM
um … yeah, I got nothing. Keep their Top 40 crap, I guess. Any channel that doesn”t require a personality can come from XM.

Sirius really should just wipe XM”s entire music lineup, because it”s inferior to Sirius across the board. News and talk is largely shared (ESPN, Weather Channel and the like), and as long as they keep at least one Trucker Channel, I”ll be happy there.

Sports programming will be better because there won”t be two services splitting leagues and conferences (although Sirius already carries SEC football, so again it”s fitting my needs just fine), but beyond listening to the rare LSU game that”s not on TV or listening to pre-game, I don”t care that much about live sports. I don”t listen to a lot of live hockey or NASCAR on the radio.

Howard Stern, Oprah, Opie & Anthony? I really don”t care. But the prospect of XM”s grating “Oprah and Friends … Friends and Oprah …” jingle being on my service might just make me cancel it.

Will the deal ultimately go through? I think it will. Sirius and XM have a good case in the idea that HD Radio, iPods, etc. represent the new competition for satellite radio, so combining the two satellite radio services won”t impact the choice in consumer music services. And without a merger, it”s likely one of them would end up in bankruptcy anyway, so the economic reality is that a combination is best for the companies and ultimately consumers.

Just choose your stations wisely, Mel.