Cap’n Ken’s Homespun Wisdom

Straight from the TVs to the Internets to you …

Please note:

- This was not a press conference to announce a contract extension with LSU. This was a press conference to deny a specific ESPN report from earlier today.

- Les Miles did not, in fact, say he’s signed any kind of extension with LSU. Neither did O’Keefe or Bertman.

- Les Miles did not say he’s going to stay at LSU. He “will be” the head coach - which could mean at 4 p.m. today he “will be” the head coach.

- Was Leslie lying today when he said he has no interest in talking to any other teams or yesterday when he said “”Reportedly, they have asked for permission to speak with me. I will allow that after this game.” Or did his “interest” change between yesterday and today.

I think this saga is far from over. A writer for the Times-Picayune said his information is that no deal has been signed with LSU, which is quite contrary to the reports today (which were quite contrary to the original reports today). So we shall see.

Update: So on LSU radio, with CBS and after the game in the press conference, Leslie said in no uncertain terms that he is staying at LSU and not taking the Michigan job. Fair enough. He’s either not going to Michigan or he’s upping the Saban jackass quotient. I think it’s probably true that he’s staying at LSU. The whole drama that’s been playing out is fishy, though. I’d like to hear the truth of what went on in Baton Rouge, Ann Arbor and Atlanta someday.

But I’ll give Leslie this: At his post-game press conference, he spoke of his love for Michigan, how he would love to coach there and that it pains him that he won’t be. I think that was real and genuine, and I’ll give him credit for that. And he spoke very, very highly of LSU and what the place means to him and his family. Well done.

I still doubt Leslie’s coaching abilities and I will continue to criticize him when I see fit (and praise him when I see fit). But if he’s sticking with LSU, then let’s go from here.

Live version presented here for the reaction of O’Keefe and Bertman.

With the now-expressed interest in Les Miles by Michigan (he”s awesome, guys! - please don”t take him away!!!), attention must be turned to a potential successor should Leslie leave for the semi-retirement of being the Michigan coach. And, of course, a name that has and no doubt will continue to pop up is Nick Saban. As laughable as the notion of Fonzie bailing out of Alabama after one season to return to LSU is, people will argue that it makes great sense. LSU is where Fonzie had his greatest success; it”s the job that made him love college football so much he had to come back; the job is somewhat less burdened with crazy fan expectations; etc.

With that in mind, I”d like to offer my list of former LSU coaches ranked by the potential that they would be asked to return to coach the Tigers.

1) Bill Arnsbarger - Sure, he”s 81 and has been out of football for 12 years. But he won.

2) Paul Dietzel - Sure, he”s 83 and has been out of football for 25 years. But he won.

3) Bo Rein, should be be found alive on a deserted island in the Caribbean

4) Mike Archer - Actually a viable head-coaching candidate again.

5) The Corpse of Charles McClendon

6) Jerry Stovall

7) The Corpse of Bo Rein, should it be found

Gerry DiNardo

9) Nick Saban

10) Curley Hallman

Between the huge letdown of LSU blowing the Arkansas game and tending to the YouTube phenomenon that was the Auburn dog bite, my energy being directed toward last weekend”s action went down quickly. But to recap: Leslie and Fonzie agree on one thing - overtime isn”t real football. And they”re right. It”s a crapshoot of made plays, missed plays and luck. If alternating possessions from the 25-yard-line was how football was always played, the college landscape would be very different.

But there”s a solution: Win the fucking game over your inferior opponent before it gets to overtime. LSU couldn”t do that against 8-4 Arkansas, they couldn”t do it against 7-5 Kentucky and they almost didn”t do it against 3-9 Ole Miss, 6-6 Alabama or 8-4 Auburn.

I said going in that the Arkansas game could be a wild affair. Darren McFadden has the ability to totally screw up your gameplan (although Auburn had the ability to hold Arkansas to 67 rushing yards). And LSU”s defense is banged up enough that some slack has to be given there. I want to rant about Bo Pelini”s horrible coaching and strategy, but I do think a lot of the defensive collapse has been due to injuries. Still, LSU should have been able to hold Arkansas back more than they did last Friday.

Offensively, I”m not sure where Matt Flynn”s head was, but going 19 for 43 for 176 yards (in regulation) … against the SEC”s No. 8 passing defense … at home … in the game to keep you in the BCS hunt in inexcusable for a 5th-year senior. Ryan Perrilloux did not play in the game despite Flynn”s ineffectiveness and apparent shoulder injury. And - assuming this was ongoing punishment for the incident at The Varsity and not Leslie simply forgetting Ryan is on the team - I support that. This, Ryan, is what you”ve done to the team by your immature and irresponsible behavior - helped keep us out of the BCS title game. That consequence should be allowed to play out; letting the idiot come save you is not a good message.

Of course, the game would likely have been put away if Early Doucet had stood in the right spot on one particular play. Is Doucet so stupid that he doesn”t understand the rules about how to line up, or is this a symptom of really horrible coaching? It”s hard to say, but stupid procedural penalties are the hallmark of Leslie”s teams, so it”s hard to ignore that history.

In any case, LSU (once again) should never have been in the position of needing to win this one late. But we were. The bad wins (and losses) of Leslie”s tenure are adding up: Kentucky, Auburn, Alabama, Ole Miss and Arkansas this year; Auburn, Tennessee, Alabama, Ole Miss, Arkansas last year; Arizona State, Tennessee, Auburn, Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia in 2005.

Three years, 32 wins, 6 losses. By my count, one of those losses (Florida last year) is a “quality loss”, five were poor losses. Fifteen of the 32 wins were expected victories over poor teams, 11 were close-call wins that never should have been close and just 6 (Va. Tech, South Carolina, Florida this year, Notre Dame last year and Florida and Miami in 2005) are what I would call “quality wins” - either hard-fought battles won against strong teams or domination of decent teams. And you could certainly argue about the Miami and Notre Dame wins.

LSU is a highly-talented and completely unprepared team. I hear Michigan might be scheduling a press conference for Monday. I welcome that.

Elsewhere in the SEC:

Tennessee / Kentucky was wilder than I could have imagined. The “Cats should have won this one, but I”m happy to have the Vols to face in Atlanta, not the Dawgs. Missed the pick.

Coach O ushered himself out the door - and Houston Nutt in (great hire) - by blowing the Eh Bowl and my pick there.

Fonzie was suitably embarrassed by Auburn, but offense was not to be found there.

Georgia rolled, as did Florida, and Clemson almost made my blow my pick against the Cocks.

For the week: 4 - 3

For the season: 75 - 17

I published this last night at the tail end of my coverage of Leslie’s brilliance in the Arkansas game, but I don’t want it getting lost in the shuffle. So I give you “I’m The Head Coach” starring Les Miles:

Previous video: Oregon / Arizona - Poon Fight

LSU Head Coach Les Miles - one of the most brilliant coaches to ever walk the sidelines - was unable to pull his untalented Tigers through to another victory Friday, as No. 1 LSU fell to Arkansas in triple overtime Friday. Not even the best coach in college football could save the Tigers on this day. It was not, though, for a lack of effort on Miles” part. Coach Miles out-strategized Arkansas coach Houston Nutt and nearly coaxed an 11th win out of what is clearly a weak set of players for LSU.

With the game tied at 21 mid-way through the fourth quarter, Miles sensed the momentum Arkansas had and knew a quick score would just give the Hogs the ball back with Big Mo on their side. So - very shrewdly - Miles had Early Doucet line up in the wrong position to negate what would have been a 54-yard touchdown pass that would have played right into Arkansas” hands.

The discipline of Doucet to stay on the line of scrimmage when standard coaching techniques would surely have taught the senior not to stand there is a testament to Miles” brilliance. Clearly this is a program with strong leadership.

Miles and his coordinators then willed their team to overtime, first by allowing Arkansas to move the ball at will to go up 28-21, and then by devising an unlikely gameplan for the final drive - including a fourth-down swing pass so inept-looking that it had to succeed.

And then, in the most brilliant strategy move executed this day, Miles used two timeouts before the game-tying score to leave one minute on the clock and force Arkansas to take the ball back one final time in regulation.

But in the end, Miles” incomparable leadership, Bo Pelini”s strategy of wearing down the Arkansas offense by making them move the ball 437 yards in regulation and Gary Crowton”s brilliant three-play offense was not enough to overcome LSU”s obvious lack of talent. So these Tigers will fail to win a national title for Coach Miles this year, and that”s a shame. He deserves better.

And after a season of pulling his team through close games, not even the brilliant mind of Les Miles could save the Tigers today.

Les Miles is the best coach in college football I sure hope no other teams try to lure him away, as any team would be lucky to have him.

Les Miles set the record straight at his weekly press luncheon today: - Bo Schembechler is dead. Funeral was a year ago today, in fact.
- Lloyd Carr”s retirement timing is funny.
- Leslie is not talking jobs, not looking for jobs, doesn”t want a job. But he has a great job.

- It”s not “suppose” that Michigan will call. They haven”t called. It”s not fair to say they should.
- What he”s doing is what we should do, which is to “let it rest”.
- He”s playing football for LSU.

- He”s preparing for “ar-KAN-sas”.
- He loves this team (choking back tears) and will not do anything to hurt it.
- He doesn”t want to talk about jobs, doesn”t care about jobs, doesn”t want to involve himself in that thought process, which is counterproductive to preparation. Please don”t ask again.

He”s so on the first flight to Ann Arbor after the BCS title game (or maybe the SEC Championship Game if we lose that). That is, of course, if Michigan wants him.

Everybody”s saying Michigan will look like fools if they pass on Miles and the guy they do hire washes out. But if Michigan has the chance to hire a true Michigan Man who played and coached for Bo, who dearly loves the university and is currently coaching the No. 1 team in the country … and passes … what does that say about Leslie?

Michigan not offering Miles the job is a much scarier thought than us having to find a new coach.

The video: