Cap’n Ken’s Homespun Wisdom

I was going to update my stance on the new “security” standards put forth by the TSA (short answer - it”s ridiculous now since the “immediate threat” has ended), so I wanted to check what the TSA is saying on the rules today.

Problem is that over and over (I tried 6 times) when I tried to open the TSA site in Safari, it crashed the browser. Apparently this is a known thing in the Mac world, but how ridiculous is it that the government”s stupid web site is engineered so poorly that it crashes Safari?

I”m sitting in the San Jose, Ca. airport right now waiting for my flight back to Atlanta. I was supposed to fly down to L.A. this morning for a last-minute meeting and then fly home out of LAX tomorrow. But in light of the security situation that came about overnight, I thought it best to get on home (sans my toiletries) through the low-volume San Jose airport rather than trying to deal with LAX tomorrow. And, as it turns out, the people we were meeting with missed their flight down because of this mess, so all in all it”s a good decision.

For all the crap I”ve given the TSA in the past about their ridiculous “security” rules, I have to say I agree with what they”ve done today. I have to assume they had good information about an imminent threat involving liquid-type things carried on to planes, so it”s a reasonable short-term measure to keep that stuff off the plane. However, if this becomes the “security” standard going forth, that”ll just reinforce my notion of the TSA as a feel-good front for “security” that doesn”t really do much in the end.

And here”s an idea: take all these tubes of toothpaste, hairgel, etc. that are being discarded at the security gates and line them up at the concourse exits. That way people getting off of planes who had to give up their things somewhere else can pick up replacements!

So I wouldn”t have expected this. Less than 48 hours after the USPS was scheduled to retrieve my little 37-cent monkey from that blue box in Mountain View (5 p.m. Pacific on 5/17), my sister found it in her St. Amant mailbox - with no postage due notice or anything.

This shot, obviously, was taken in Louisiana - at the site of my sister”s soon-to-be-completed swank river house.

The USPS did the right thing by delivering the letter, but it”s not insignificant that they didn”t even bother to stamp “insufficient postage” on it. I suppose it”s possible we”re still in an unspoken grace period after the rate increase, so maybe I should wait a year or so and give the test another shot.

Or maybe the postal workers didn”t even notice I put a 37-cent stamp on and I should try mailing a letter with a Hello Kitty sticker in place of postage.

And this also raises the question of how much of a ripoff Priority Mail is. They promise 2-3 day delivery for a premium price, but is it routine for a simple letter to get picked up and delivered so quickly? I mean, well done on getting the monkey to Louisiana, but if the USPS is this good at getting regular mail moved, what”s the value in Priority Mail?

Actually, I don”t at all hate to say I told you so; I was just listening to The Hives on the flight home today.

But loyal readers of The Wisdom will recall that back in December I suggested FEMA has no business managing the housing needs of those displaced by Katrina and the levee failures in New Orleans. Housing assistance, I suggested, should be the domain on an agency such as Housing and Urban Development, and FEMA should focus on actual Emergency Management. It”s the agency”s middle name, after all.

So now legislation has been introduced that proposes just that as part of the FEMA overhaul.

Obviously, I endorse the idea. Get FEMA focused on preparedness and response and put housing help in the pocket of the real social agencies.

Now if the feds would just work on that new hurricane rating system I”ve proposed …

Being the inquisitive fella that I am, I”ve been wondering what the post office would do with a letter carrying 37 cents worth of postage in a 39-cent stamp world.

If I stuck such an insufficiently-postaged item in my mailbox, I imagine my letter carrier would probably write or stamp “insufficient postage” on it and leave it in the box. Likewise, I figure my neighborhood post office would do the same and send it on back to me.

But what if the USPS had a tougher call to make on a letter that”s two cents shy of proper postage? What if, for instance, a letter bearing a 37-cent stamp was addressed to St. Amant, Louisiana; had a return address of Atlanta, Georgia and was dropped into a USPS mailbox in Mountain View, California?

Well, that”s exactly what happened today.

That”s Mountain View”s City Hall in the background. Sure, I could have picked a more iconic backdrop for Mountain View, but there happened to be a mailbox nearby when I snapped this and sent the New Year”s Monkey on his way.

So then, the great experiment is set in motion. A letter that”s two cents shy of postage mailed 2,244 miles (driving distance) away from its intended destination and 2,565 miles away from its return address. What will be its fate?

I can envision a number of potential outcomes:

- The USPS might go by the book and return the letter to Atlanta for insufficient postage. I don”t know if it would cost the USPS two cents to get it the 321 extra miles back to Atlanta and handle it as “insufficient postage”, but this would be the governmental approach.

- The USPS might just deliver the letter to St. Amant - maybe with a mean note on the outside - as if it were properly postaged. This would be the business approach.

- The USPS might demand two cents postage due on delivery. The intended recipient (my sister) has been instructed to not pay any such postage. This would be the phone company approach.

- The USPS might just toss the letter in a furnace and pretend it never existed. This would be the Hudsucker Industries mailroom approach.

If I had to bet, I”d go with the USPS delivering the letter to St. Amant, probably with a nasty note on it. The floor is open to wagering.

FEMA offers help with evacuation planning.

Correct me if I”m wrong, Louisianians, but wasn”t the mass evacuation (for those who chose to leave) about the only thing about the Katrina situation that went relatively well? And didn”t that happen before FEMA even showed up?