Cap’n Ken’s Homespun Wisdom

Really longtime readers of The Wisdom will recall that nearly three years ago I predicted big things for my pal Dave and his cohorts in The Imagination Movers.

I really haven”t mentioned much here about it, but things are really moving for the Movers these days. Namely, a music and TV deal with Disney that will put the boys on the national stage here soon.

And I hope for huge things for them. In five years, I”d like to see Dave taking over the mortage at Master P”s place in Country Club of Louisiana. I talk to Dave a good bit these days and he fills me in on behind-the-scenes Movers stuff. There”s plenty of “can you believe this” sort of TV/music stars-to-be sort of stuff, but this ain”t Defamer, so I keep the tales to myself.

But since this little tidbit was in the Times-Picayune today, I guess I can throw it out there:

Popular local kids band the Imagination Movers, newly signed to a TV and record deal with Disney, spent Saturday discussing possible collaborations with renowned funk and pop producer Nile Rodgers. Rodgers, the guitarist in disco-era favorites Chic, has produced hit albums by Madonna, David Bowie, the B-52s, INXS and Duran Duran. The Movers hosted Rodgers for a daylong get-to-know-you visit in New Orleans, taking him on the “disaster tour” of their ruined Lakeview homes and to lunch at Bayona. “We talked shop, to see if there is any reason to collaborate,” Mover Rich Collins said. “He”s insanely successful, but his MO is to be intellectually curious. So he”s always thinking about different projects.”

Nile Freaking Rodgers! The man who gave the world “Like A Virgin”.

Not too long ago, I was picking up trash cans and traffic cones to help them put together an Atlanta gig, and now they”re lunching with Nile Rodgers at Bayona.

Well done.

[editor"s note: If you actually read the T-P article I linked to and check out the Bayona photo, you might get the impression that Dave"s not really in the band. But he is. Trust me. As someone never actually said: "I am a Goad!"]

Just 269 short days after the Katrina-inspired levee failures, Humana Health Benefit Plan of Louisiana will re-open its Metairie office this Thursday. Back in only nine months? Well done. It”s a good thing the office wasn”t somewhere that actually got damaged, I guess.

And it”s just 30 short days until the first semi-big convention returns to the city.

Time flies, doesn”t it?

So I wouldn”t have expected this. Less than 48 hours after the USPS was scheduled to retrieve my little 37-cent monkey from that blue box in Mountain View (5 p.m. Pacific on 5/17), my sister found it in her St. Amant mailbox - with no postage due notice or anything.

This shot, obviously, was taken in Louisiana - at the site of my sister”s soon-to-be-completed swank river house.

The USPS did the right thing by delivering the letter, but it”s not insignificant that they didn”t even bother to stamp “insufficient postage” on it. I suppose it”s possible we”re still in an unspoken grace period after the rate increase, so maybe I should wait a year or so and give the test another shot.

Or maybe the postal workers didn”t even notice I put a 37-cent stamp on and I should try mailing a letter with a Hello Kitty sticker in place of postage.

And this also raises the question of how much of a ripoff Priority Mail is. They promise 2-3 day delivery for a premium price, but is it routine for a simple letter to get picked up and delivered so quickly? I mean, well done on getting the monkey to Louisiana, but if the USPS is this good at getting regular mail moved, what”s the value in Priority Mail?

Actually, I don”t at all hate to say I told you so; I was just listening to The Hives on the flight home today.

But loyal readers of The Wisdom will recall that back in December I suggested FEMA has no business managing the housing needs of those displaced by Katrina and the levee failures in New Orleans. Housing assistance, I suggested, should be the domain on an agency such as Housing and Urban Development, and FEMA should focus on actual Emergency Management. It”s the agency”s middle name, after all.

So now legislation has been introduced that proposes just that as part of the FEMA overhaul.

Obviously, I endorse the idea. Get FEMA focused on preparedness and response and put housing help in the pocket of the real social agencies.

Now if the feds would just work on that new hurricane rating system I”ve proposed …

Being the inquisitive fella that I am, I”ve been wondering what the post office would do with a letter carrying 37 cents worth of postage in a 39-cent stamp world.

If I stuck such an insufficiently-postaged item in my mailbox, I imagine my letter carrier would probably write or stamp “insufficient postage” on it and leave it in the box. Likewise, I figure my neighborhood post office would do the same and send it on back to me.

But what if the USPS had a tougher call to make on a letter that”s two cents shy of proper postage? What if, for instance, a letter bearing a 37-cent stamp was addressed to St. Amant, Louisiana; had a return address of Atlanta, Georgia and was dropped into a USPS mailbox in Mountain View, California?

Well, that”s exactly what happened today.

That”s Mountain View”s City Hall in the background. Sure, I could have picked a more iconic backdrop for Mountain View, but there happened to be a mailbox nearby when I snapped this and sent the New Year”s Monkey on his way.

So then, the great experiment is set in motion. A letter that”s two cents shy of postage mailed 2,244 miles (driving distance) away from its intended destination and 2,565 miles away from its return address. What will be its fate?

I can envision a number of potential outcomes:

- The USPS might go by the book and return the letter to Atlanta for insufficient postage. I don”t know if it would cost the USPS two cents to get it the 321 extra miles back to Atlanta and handle it as “insufficient postage”, but this would be the governmental approach.

- The USPS might just deliver the letter to St. Amant - maybe with a mean note on the outside - as if it were properly postaged. This would be the business approach.

- The USPS might demand two cents postage due on delivery. The intended recipient (my sister) has been instructed to not pay any such postage. This would be the phone company approach.

- The USPS might just toss the letter in a furnace and pretend it never existed. This would be the Hudsucker Industries mailroom approach.

If I had to bet, I”d go with the USPS delivering the letter to St. Amant, probably with a nasty note on it. The floor is open to wagering.

Loyal readers of The Wisdom know I”m a fan of the annual list of popular baby names put out by the feds.

The new list is out, but this year I”m feeling unfulfilled. Why? There”s no Freak Factor in this data.

If you”ve read Freakonomics, you”ll no doubt remember the analysis about education, income and baby names. In short, names like Emily and Abigail are popular now because they used to be names that successful parents gave their children. The trickled down to the masses as less successful parents began to use them to tag their own children with a “successful” name.

Successful parents move on to new names, which ultimately will trickle down and become the new Emilys.

And that”s what my Freaked mind wants to see - what”s the education/income index for baby names? Show me the Top 10 gainers and losers in terms of parental education; top names by income level, etc.

Of course, asking the feds for that kind of detail and analysis is pointless. But it”s what Freakonomics has made me look for.