Miss America missed America

The wife and I sat down to watch Miss America last night – mostly so I could ogle the hot ones and we could both make fun of the horsey, cockeyed, big-foreheaded and otherwise less-than-perfect ones.

When the cut went from 10 to 5 (sadly eliminating Miss Florida, who we”d hoped to see in the talent portion since we figured her “talent” might involve her pet pig), I saw the writing on the wall.

Left in the pageant were two traditional big-haired girls (Oklahoma and D.C.), a little redneck girl from L.A. (Lower Alabama), a Greek girl from Virginia and my sure-fire winner: our own Miss Georgia.

Monica Pang. She of the Chinese father and blonde-haired, blue-eyed American mother. The perfect representation of modern America.

Here, just past the dawn of the 21st Century, Miss America would represent our future. Modern, smart, multi-cultural, and really smokin-hot. OK, so most of America is not modern, smart, multi-cultural or smokin-hot, but Miss America is supposed to represent our ideal, right?

This would be a defining moment for America. We would declare for the world to see that the U.S. is at its best when cultures come together to create that modern, smart – and smokin-hot – future. It”s our Manifest Destiny of the Technology Age.

When the final countdown began, it was all falling into place. Gone were the girls from D.C. (representing big government), Alabama (the agrarian South) and the Greek (a civilization millenia past its prime) girl from Virginia.

We were left with a stark contrast: Miss Oklahoma – the big-eyed, All-American buxom beauty from the oil patch – and Monica – the sleek, smart, pretty new-world Asian-American girl. It was Exxon/Texaco vs. Yahoo/Google. The past vs. the future. The old-boy network vs. the new economy.

America would declare, right there on that Las Vegas stage, what we”re all about in the 21st Century.

Oklahoman Crowned Miss America

Both comments and pings are currently closed.

Comments are closed.

Subscribe to RSS Feed Follow me on Twitter!