Excuse me while I commit a federal crime

Free room available: I have a spare bedroom / bathroom I”m offering to a slim, sexy, single, childless young woman – age 18-22 – free of charge. Caucasian, African-American, Asian, Latina, Chicana, Hispanic, Native American or Alaska Native women only. No Pacific Islanders, please. No Christians, please, unless you”re a super-cool Christian who”s not hung up on the whole “sex is bad” thing. And no lesbians – unless you”re the kind of lesbian I see on Cinemax late at night.

Apart from the physical danger my offer will put me in once the wife reads this, apparently I just committed a federal crime.

The Greater New Orleans Fair Housing Action Center has filed complaints with H.U.D. over discriminatory offers for free housing following Hurricane Katrina.

Apparently even an offer for free housing falls under federal fair housing laws if the ad is posted on a revenue-generating website. At this point I”d like to direct you to the ads to your left. Thus Cap”n Ken joins the ranks of Al Capone in running afoul of the feds.

If you want to argue that people shouldn”t be discriminated against when it comes to housing, fine. I won”t take this opportunity to rant about how maybe that infringes on a property owner”s rights or that it”s not an equitable law when old-people developments are exempt from the age rules. Nor will I argue that a white person saying she only wanted to take in other white folks because she lives around a bunch of rednecks is probably smart thinking and in the best interest of the black folks who otherwise might bed down there.

But doesn”t the Fair Housing Action Center have better things to do right now that chase down well-meaning websites and people who were just trying to help out after Katrina? Say, for instance, helping New Orleanians find housing back in the city?

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