Someone get to Rome and save Katie!

It struck me this morning when I saw the new set of Tom Cruise / Katie Holmes pictures from Rome that this “relationship” isn”t merely some crappy/creepy Hollywood publicity stunt – Katie”s been kidnapped!

Cruise”s people, apparently desperately seeking some kind of relevance for the small man, must have snatched Katie right off of the street. And I think the studios must be threatening to blacklist her if she doesn”t play along for a month or so before the real press begins for their upcoming films.

See, anybody who has an appreciation for Katie knows she”s downright bubbly. Every time I”ve seen shots of her in public, she”s got this huge, natural, fabulous smile on her face. It”s a big part of her personality and her charm.

Witness some TRL appearance:

And when she tones down the smile, it still comes across as natural and warm:

Even out with that would-be-Keanu she was engaged to she could manage to look happy:

But here she is in Rome with Lil” Tom:


Clearly, she”s under duress. There”s no joy in her toothless smile.

And the best she could manage – even with press cameras dead ahead – was this painfully forced smile (which, given how she appears to be mocking the midget”s always-on fake smile, must be a secret cry for help):

Katie in the clutches of the Tiny Scientologist sent me into a flashback of another desperate, formerly-relevant celebrity and his futile attempt to appear meaningful and desirable:

Somebody, please save Katie!

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