Row roulette

I knew before I left today that I was on a full flight. I didn”t realize that the flight ultimately ends up in Hawaii, which explains why it”s so full.

But as I was sitting at the gate, I started to ponder my seat-mate fate for this five-hour trip.

Maybe I”d be next to one of the super-cute teenage girls fiddling around with their iPods. Nah, my luck doesn”t work that way.

The tattooed guy who has to be either a rocker or a skater? Doubtful.

I started to get really worried when boarding began. I was in Group 6 in Delta”s odd little boarding scheme, and as Group 5 was boarding, there was this weird black dude hanging around the line hoping to get on ASAP. He kept telling people “I”m in Group 6. What group you in?”

I was sure he”d be the mystery occupant of seat 38B.

But no. My area filled up with Group 6ers, but 38B remained empty. We seemed to be getting close to pushback when the captain said we were waiting on a few connecting passengers.

The minute I saw The Gargantuan Mr. Greer coming down the aisle, I knew my fate was sealed. He was with a younger, thin woman, but I knew the deal. The man actually had to get a seat belt extension in order to buckle up. Isn”t he supposed to have to buy two seats? No, wait, that”s Southwest.

He”s mostly managed to keep himself out of my space. Our plane is a 2-3-2 setup, so he can hang himself out in the aisle a bit.

Did I mention this is a five-hour flight?

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