Three pounds of pepperoni

The wife and I went to BJ”s Warehouse Club this weekend (I”m never one to turn down BJs), and true to form dropped more than $200 there.

Not that it wasn”t $200+ well spent. We loaded up and will be set for lint brushes, Atkins” shakes and diapers (for the little black dog – sick, I know) for months.

But among our purchases was an item I”m still having trouble comprehending – a three-pound bag of sliced pepperoni.

Yep, three pounds.

Our decision to buy a pillowcase full of pepperoni came from the wife”s repeated attempts to make croissant pizza for herself. I”d pick up croissant dough and the little Hormel pepperoni packs (8 ounces) at Ghetto Kroger, but by the time she was ready to make the pizza, I”d snacked away all the slices. Pepperoni is like vanilla wafers for the Atkins Nation.

And, thus, we own a three-pound bag of pepperoni. I opened it up the other night to grab a snack, and I could barely fit the slices into a 1-gallon Ziplock bag.

The damn thing takes up half the meat drawer. To get to anything in that drawer, you have to shove aside the pepperoni, which just lies there like a dead possum on the highway.

So now I”m pondering the options – pepperoni omlettes, pepperoni-topped burgers, pepperoni protein shakes … who knows.

Of course, we also bought the four-pack of croissant dough – so the wife best get to making some damn pizza.

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