Cap’n Ken’s Homespun Wisdom

The wife and I (and friends) went to the Glenwood Park kickoff reception last night. It was hosted by the big cheese - Charles Brewer - himself and served as the official launch of home sales for the project.

For those of you who don”t know about Glenwood Park, it”s a project that”s turning 28 acres of cement plant along I-20 just west of East Atlanta into a “new urban” mixed-use development. With Brewer - the founder of MindSpring and a passionate advocate for “new urban” development - leading the effort, the project has a ton of potential. It”s the kind of thing that could change the way developers build intown neighborhoods for years to come.

The wife and I, of course, are not in the market for a new house. But we”ve followed Glenwood Park”s development with a lot of interest, as it has the potential to create quite a buzz in the “hood, give us more places to go eat, raise our property values, etc.

So we went to the reception to see the latest on the project and get an idea of how much the houses (single-family and townhomes) will run. We”d hoped prices would be high, again to help make our house look like a bargain and raise all of our property values. We also didn”t want to see a better house than ours offered for the same or less money, as that would have sucked.

Brewer started his presentation with a little history lesson - a photo of good urban development, a photo of bad. And that was fine. Then it was a little bit about the site; where it”s located, its history, etc. Still fine.

Then he launches in to the “what is important” segment of the program. Sidewalks are important, so here are pictures of sidewalks in London, Switzerland, Palo Alto, Chicago, and Midtown Atlanta. Street design is important, so here are pictures of streets in Charleston, Seaside, etc. Tree planters are important, so here are pictures … you get the idea.

Alleys. Stoops. Gates. Pavers. Walls. Storefronts. Parks. Garage doors. Fences. Markets. Street furniture. All are important to Glenwood Park, and all came with four or five examples from cities around the world.

And then there were curbs. Oh, the curb. Brewer must have talked for 15 minutes about the curbs of Glenwood Park. He loved this one curb on King”s Road in London, and went on about it for a few minutes. Tight curbs, you see, slow down traffic. And you can create tight curbs using about 10 different techniques, and Charlie had a photo for each one. He had a full photo essay showing his demonstration with the Atlanta fire department where they set up his proposed curb dimensions to see if the big fire truck could make the turn.

Those of you who dealt with Brewer back in the MindSpring days know he”s not exactly the most dynamic public speaker. Couple his quiet, unenthusiastic style with a 90-minute lecture on good urban design, and it”s amazing so many people stuck around until the end. Holding back the appetizers until he was done helped, I imagine.

After Charlie”s voyage of discovery through the goods and bads of urban planning, he introduced the real estate agents, home builders and mortgage folks in attendance.

For the first phase of sales, there are just 15 single-family homes and 8 townhouses being offered. A smart move, I imagine, as demand (or at least interest) seems to be pretty strong considering the site is still basically a mud pit. And if you can establish a strong price for the first batch, it will create a baseline market price for the rest of the place.

Let the frenzy begin! The agents will be on site this weekend to take reservations on the 23 properties being offered. Only pre-qualified buyers, please. Monday morning they”ll look over the reservations and solicit sealed bids for properties with more than one interested buyer.

As a point of reference for those who may be interested, here”s an idea of pricing of this first phase. Please use this Glenwood Park map for your key.

The 5 homes at the southeast corner (light green along Glenwood Ave on the map) are priced from $399,900 to $439,900. I don”t know how desirable these homes will be, as they face Glenwood (and the old ice cream cone factory - surely to disappear someday) and can”t feel a whole lot like they”re part of the neighborhood. They”re being built by Capstone Partners, which builds really nice houses, though. Three bedrooms, probably in the 2,200 - 2,400 square feet range.

Houses on what have to be the primo land of Glenwood Park (because of the skyline views) are a bit pricier. Only three of them (on the right side of Hamilton Street - look below the “Special Area” on the map) are being offered. I don”t know if the others have been sold or what. Skip the first two lots below the Special Area and the three in a row after it are being offered. Two are at $458,000 and one is $470,900. These are built by an outfit called Hedgewood, and I”m sure they”ll be nice as well. The mack-daddy $470K model is still just a 3 bedroom (plus unfinished basement) and around 2,500 square feet total, though. Seems a tad pricey.

The other 7 single-family homes (across Hamilton Street on the map - the middle block) range from $389,900 to $488,000. And that $488K job is still just a 3 bedroom (with unfinished basement), and there”s not a “bonus” office thingy or anything like that.

I think the townhouses being offered (behind the block I mentioned above, fronting Bartram Street) are the most intriguing properties in this bunch. They are designed to resemble east-coast brownstones with stoops and stairs out front. They have garages behind them and a spiffy courtyard (probably 15 feet by 25 feet) separating the house from the garage. There are three levels, including a loft-type third floor, and rooftop terrace that I imagine will have right nice views of downtown. The townhouses are right off of the main commercial block and close to the big park as well. They are also pricey - $347,000 - $388,000, but I think will be the most desirable places in Glenwood Park.

And then there”s the aforementioned “Special Area”. Charlie says the plan is to place a “mansion on a hill” on that land, but he”s not sure yet what that means. It could be a “multi-family mansion” or something, but they want a signature building to sit on the most visible piece of property. It”ll make a good target for the hoodies who live behind it to throw rocks at.

Charlie also mentioned (he didn”t seem pleased about it) something about a community swimming pool, which to me seems way out of place in this kind of “new urban” development. I bet the real estate agents are telling him you have to have swim/tennis to attract the Alpharetta crowd. I hope he talks them out of that.
I was disappointed, but not surprised, that there was little talk of the commercial components of Glenwood Park. There will be shops and restaurants, I”m sure. And there will probably not be near enough parking. If done right, the commercial area of Glenwood Park will attract people from all around southeast Atlanta, and the plans show about 100 parking spots total (plus street parking for probably 50 cars).

Part of the project includes the west side of the Glenwood-Memorial Connector, however, and there will be shops and maybe parking over on that side.

So there. You”re fully caught up on Glenwood Park. And you didn”t have to watch Brewer”s “Great Curbside Tree Planters of the Western World” slideshow. Lucky.

When I created my little “Jimmy Dean for America” button (left rail of the Wisdom), I didn”t realize controversy was about to wrap Jimmy up like a pig in a blanket.

My button, of course, is a takeoff of Howard “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” Dean”s web buttons and was meant for nothing more than having a little fun at the expense of this particular asshat presidential candidate.

But this morning the news broke that Sara Lee Corp. - which owns Jimmy Dean sausage - will no longer be using Jimmy Dean as a spokesman for Jimmy Dean sausage.

A Sara Lee spokeswoman (her name is not Sara Lee, in case you were wondering) said “the brand was going in a new direction” that requires a different marketing approach, so they didn”t renew Jimmy Dean”s contract to market Jimmy Dean sausage.

A “new direction” … for a product called “Jimmy Dean” sausage … that doesn”t include Jimmy Dean? OK. Can”t wait to see the commercials for that.

Sara Lee, by the way, also owns the Rudy”s Farm and Hillshire Farms sausage brands, so maybe they”re not seeing a need to keep the JD brand out there as well.

I guess it”s a good bonus of timing on my part that I have my little Jimmy Dean button on the site. Maybe I”ll leave it up as a protest/tribute after Mr. Temper fades from the political scene. Of course, except for the fine maple-flavored Jimmy, I prefer Tennessee Pride (hot) sausage anyway.

A few months back, I wrote a piece looking at where the wife and I spend our money. So as I wrapped up the books for 2003, I thought it would be fun to take another look at the full year and see where all that money went.

Throw out taxes, mortgages, the Santa Fe loan and household bills, and here are the top 20 places our money went in 2003, in order of amount spent:

• ATM - yes, I hate dealing with cash, but it”s just necessary sometimes.
• Kroger - Try as I might to avoid the Ghetto Kroger, it still finished first in the grocery department.
• Home Depot - Fixing up the old house and the condo, plus stuff bought from the new house make this not much of a surprise.
• Publix - If they ever put in self-serve checkouts, they”d pass Kroger for sure.
• Quik Trip - Ah, my blessed QT. If I”m not there at lunch getting gas, I”m sucking down sodas and those little taquito things.
• Gateway - The laptop I”m writing this on.
• The wife”s mom - To care for the wife”s granny when she was in Medicare flux. And you thought the Cap”n was heartless.
• Delta Air Lines - We flew them to NYC and L.A.
• Amazon.com - Dominated by the DVD recorder the wife got me for my birthday; we actually spent $0 with Mr. Bezos at Christmas this year.
• The wife”s hair stylist - As I said before, looking that hot takes work.
• PetSmart - Care and feeding for the dogs, both Big Brown and Little Black.
• Shell Oil - The wife still prefers to get her gas at the station on Moreland so the Indians can flirt with her.
• Mattress King - All hail The Mattress King. The new house has an extra guest room, and thus an extra mattress (which is resting on the floor for now).
• Starbucks - OK, mock me. They make damned good iced lattes and iced chai.
• CVS - This was probably about half drugs/toiletries and half cash back. I hate ATM fees.
• Media Play - My favorite lunchtime hangout; around the corner from work. Replacing our PS2 drove spending up there.
• The pet sitter - Trips to NY, Vegas, L.A., NashVegas and Louisiana mean lots of petsitter time.
• Walgreens - The wife prefers the one on North and Piedmont to the CVS in Grant Park.
• The former owner of our house - For their breakfast table, other furniture and stuff we bought at their garage sale.
• Traders - Furniture from the hip EAtl shop.

That was fun, wasn”t it? Now let”s dig in to a category that”s sure to reveal much about the Cap”n and wife. Where do we spend our dining dollars? This, of course, doesn”t include most cash outlays at Hardee”s and the like (love those new burgers), but I do still pull out the plastic whenever possible.

The top 10 places we spent dining dollars in “03:

• Starbucks - Would you believe we had 76 trips there in 2003? That”s like a visit and a half per week. Excessive? Maybe.
• Six Feet Under - Now I feel better. We”re supporting a great, new “hood restaurant. Yea, us.
• Grant Central - Mostly ordered for pickup. Who needs delivery when you can go pick it up and have it 20 minutes after you order?
• Dakota Blue - This is how good a friend I am. This place ain”t very good, but we”ve been three times with the E & K because a friend of theirs owns it. Half the total there came from one night of drinking overpriced and underpowered margaritas.
• Applebee”s - Not quite as pathetic as it might seem. Three trips, all with the wife”s family up in NashVegas. Twice we bought for the group, which raised its dollars-spent ranking.
• The Mad Platter - A NashVegas place that”s way overpriced and way not so good. It actually wouldn”t make the top 10 if not for the fact that they charged my credit card twice. Yes, we got paid back.
• The Earl - A staple for burgers and booze in the EAtl. Now that we”re remembering not to order their very-bad queso dip, they may move down in the “04 rankings.
• Good News Cafe - Exclusively brunch trips to the only viable option in the EAtl now.
• Arby”s - Because they take credit cards, Arby”s is not only the one fast-food place to show up on the list, but they also get a lot of our quick-eating business … because they take credit cards.
• Burrito Delight - Formerly Burrito Art, it”s still a good bet for quick meals in EAtl.

Also in the payee-analysis section, let”s see where the Cap”n and the wife spend our personal allowances. That”s money we budget each month for us to spend on any damn thing we want.

The Cap”n”s top 10: 1) The Flatiron (bourbons); 2) Burlington Coat Factory (a suit); 3) The New York Times (cancelled after Jayson Blair); 4) Nordstrom (mostly shoes from Nordstrom Rack); 5) The Gap (clothes); 6) Media Play (PS2 games, music, DVDs); 7) Amazon.com (mostly music); Kenneth Cole (love that man”s shoes); 9) Sirius (6-month subscription); 10) Chimes Textbook Exchange (LSU gear bought before Christmas).

The wife”s top 10 (her motives are pretty clear): 1) JCrew; 2) Lerner; 3) The Gap; 4) Victoria”s Secret; 5) Rich”s; 6) Delia”s; 7) Agnes & Muriels; Burlington Coat Factory; 9) Circuit City (her Sirius docking thingy); 10) Urban Outfitters.

Finally, some random notes:

• Last year we spent money with 319 different entities (businesses, utilities, government agencies, individuals), not counting cash-only purchases.
• The world”s biggest retailer - Wal-Mart - got exactly $150.25 from us in 2003, and $70 of that was for gift cards at Christmas. So we bought just $80.25 worth of stuff there, which may be the lowest amount of any household in America. That makes me feel good.
• By contrast, we spent $1,497.65 in East Atlanta Village (somewhat inflated last year by furniture purchases at Traders and the Antiques bazaar), and a total of $2,625.62 at independent businesses in EAtl, L5P and Grant Park (everything from Six Feet Under to Oxford Cleaners, but not including Starbucks). That also makes me feel good.

And despite the detailed analysis I”m able to pull out on spending, I”m not anal about finances, I swear. Microsoft Money makes it easy, and I”ve found that making and sticking to a spending plan is the key to having money rather than debt. And, OK, I think it”s fun. I”ll cop to that.

The wife and I watched Food Network”s new Dweezil & Lisa show this morning. Lisa Loeb, of course, is a cute little thing, and Dweezil - being Frank Zappa”s kid and everything - should be a pretty cool dude as well. Who knows? It could be interesting, and I figured it worth 22 minutes of our time.

And the first episode was shot here in Atlanta. Bonus.

The show was marginally interesting, with the biggest problem being that Dweezil and Lisa are apparently not - in fact - cool and funky people.

About half of the show was spent with Emily Saliers at Watershed. That made sense, as the show is about musicians and food. But it provided one of those great moments where people get caught in the trap of political correctness.

During a bit on wine tasting, Dweezil asked if Emily”s fancy wine would still taste good in a styrofoam cup. Emily, of course, shot back that nothing is good in a styrofoam cup, as styrofoam is evil, etc. Dweezil and Lisa, of course, wholeheartedly agreed that you never should use styrofoam.

Cut to a later scene at The Cotton Club. It”s Dweezil”s birthday, and Lisa had a big cake made up for the whole audience to share. So the club breaks out 200 big styrofoam cups to serve the cake in. OK, maybe it would have been bad form for Lisa to stop the party and demand the banishment of styrofoam cups.

But the next shot showed Lisa eating a piece of cake — off a big styrofoam plate. If she”s so opposed to styrofoam, why”s she gonna use it?

I imagine Lisa”s doesn”t really think styrofoam is evil. I think Emily does, and the Indigo Girls” concert rider probably says “no styrofoam products”. And that”s fine. If you want to take a stance on something - no matter how misguided it is - more power to you.

Lisa probably figured she should just look appropriately P.C. by seconding Emily”s statement about never using styrofoam.

And that”s the trap. P.C. types want to seem, well, politically correct. Lisa could have just let Emily”s styrofoam statement pass and go back to wine talk, but she felt it was her role as a Democrat, liberal, environmentalist or whatever to back Emily up.

Of course, if Lisa was smart, she”d have said “Hey, this is gonna be on TV, and I was ripping on styrofoam earlier. Get me a damned plastic plate!

There are certain movies I”m drawn to like a 22-year-old wanna-be-hippie college student to a Howard Dean Meet-Up. No matter how many times I”ve seen them, they suck me in whenever they come on HBO (or Cinemax or that one TMC channel we get).

And two of them were on tonight. One”s a vastly under-rated film and one”s an appropriately highly-rated masterpiece.

Under-rated: The Hudsucker Proxy. It was the Coen Brothers” 5th film and didn”t make much of a splash in theaters. In the wake of Fargo and O” Brother, it”s gotten a bit more attention, but it”s still regarded as a lightweight film, seen by many critics as a simplistic story wrapped in a stylish package.

But it”s the style that makes Hudsucker rock. No movie has done such a great job of capturing and mocking the big-company environment of the 1950s. Ignore the story if it seems simple. Dismiss Jennifer Jason Leigh”s dead-on “fast-talking career gal” character as over the top. Even if you do that, scenes like the “they”ll dock “ya!” mailroom initiation and employment-office listing board, the montage of wheels in motion creating the Dingus and the fantastic 50s sets make it a genius film.

“You know … for kids!”

Appropriately highly-rated: Pulp Fiction. OK, so chalk me up at the 105,372,387th person to hail Quentin”s master work. But 10 years after its release, it still stands up as a great American movie. And 10 years after its release, it also stands as the best Quentin”s shown he can do. If it was his peak, that”s a pretty good way to top out.

There”s a lot to praise about Pulp. The characters, the dialogue, the time-shifting, etc. But the most brilliant thing about the film to me is a simple but amazingly gutsy call by Quentin:

He made Travolta dance.

Nevermind that he alone is responsible for reviving the man”s career. Tarantino did what a smart, brave director should do when you get John Travolta out of storage - make him dance. Problem is, if you make Travolta dance, and the scene doesn”t work, you look like an idiot for trying. But Tarantino took a risk in casting Travolta, and he wasn”t afraid to throw him up at Jackrabbit Slim”s and make him do the twist. To me, that”s brilliant.

So now it”s 12:30 and I”m still up, watching Pulp Fiction and writing this. Butch is about to find out Fabienne forgot his watch.

Of course, I know what”s going to happen, but I can”t stop watching.

The Atlanta news has been dominated over the past couple of days by this home-invasion / double-murder story from Lilburn. A beloved Tucker High School coach and his son (a student at the school) were shot by some fucknut who broke in to their house.

The only good news is that said fucknut was then shot and killed by police. (late-breaking development: the killer was the son of a woman who killed a preacher and her own mom in a Kirkwood church a few months back - odd).

I”m not so damn cold-hearted that I”m going to make light of the killings themselves, although I do want to tell the kids at Tucker High to try not to get quite this distraught - lots of open grief has been shown on the news - over a “tragedy” outside of your own family. Live a bit more of your life and you”ll realize you should save some of your grief potential for the really bad things that are likely to impact you directly later on.

But there was one bit of the story that I can”t let go unmocked. The night of the murders, the coach and his son had been at a wrestling meet in Athens. They got back from that about 10 and were killed at home an hour or so later.

Fox 5 interviewed a kid on the wrestling team who said everybody had been bitching about having to drive all the way out to Athens during the week for the meet. But now, in the wake of the killings, they were happy to have had that time with their coach and his son.

Fair enough.

But, as the kid put it, God must have arranged for the meet to happen so they could spend that final time together.

OK. So if God arranged this time together in advance of the murder, then God must have also known the murders were going to happen. And if God was able to make the meet happen, he could have also stopped the murders from happening. But, of course, he didn”t.

Maybe the coach and his son weren”t such good people, after all. Why else would God let them die? Or maybe God wanted the fucknut to die, and he”d been unable to get the guy in front of a train. Or maybe God wants to let the big things play out on their own, and feels just sorry enough for we humans to give us extra time with the doomed before the deal goes down.

A spokesman for God, pastor Mike Cash of the First UMC in Tucker, denied that his boss was involved in any way.

“It”s a great tragedy … I just want the kids to know this is not the will of God for things like this to happen,” Cash told the AJC.

That”s an odd statement for a Godservant. According to the “What We Believe” section of the Tucker First UMC”s website, Cash”s own church specifically believes:

• There is but one living and true God, everlasting, without body or parts, of infinite power, wisdom, and goodness; the maker and preserver of all things, both visible and invisible.

So God is of infinite power and is the maker and preserver of all things … except in this case?

• [God] is infinite in power, wisdom, justice, goodness and love, and rules with gracious regard for the well-being and salvation of men, to the glory of his name.

So except for at the coach”s house Tuesday night, God uses this infinite justice to rule (graciously) for the well-being and salvation of men?

I suspect Cash “wants the kids to know this is not the will of God” because it”s a very poor marketing tool (the Unique Selling Proposition for you marketing types) to say “yeah, God was behind this. I don”t know why, but since God is the maker and preserver of all things both visible and invisible, he must have his reasons.